A roving band of miscreants known to officials as "The Family" was seen in the area recently. They are charged with merrymaking, loud laughter, public displays of affection, gambling (for nickels), the discharge of loud (but pretty) armaments, and eating everything not nailed down.
For identification purposes, officials have asked to post pictures of "The Family." At this time, members of "The Family" are only identifiable through aliases. Members of "The Family" are easily identified by their mustaches--even the women and children.
The Patriarch
The Matriarch
The Texas Two-Stepper
The Southern Belle
The Thinker
The Dog Whisperer
The Redneck
The Expectant One
The Jackal
The "Peacemaker"
Miss Optimistic
The "Quiet" One
The Birthday Boy
The Grim Reaper, aka John Deere, aka The Gardener
The Elusive Photographer
The Boss(er)
The Computer Geek
Curly
The Contrary One
If you see any members of "The Family," you should be cautious when approaching, as they have been known to give out hugs unexpectedly and may make a defensive move known as "the moose is loose." They are not considered dangerous, but they are thought to be slightly crazy. They may be redirected by offers of playing Bocce ball or SCAT for nickels and they can be pacified with food (particularly cookies) and beverages.
The Contrary One
If you see any members of "The Family," you should be cautious when approaching, as they have been known to give out hugs unexpectedly and may make a defensive move known as "the moose is loose." They are not considered dangerous, but they are thought to be slightly crazy. They may be redirected by offers of playing Bocce ball or SCAT for nickels and they can be pacified with food (particularly cookies) and beverages. ***********COMMENTS ARE FIXED!!!! PLEASE LEAVE ME ONE AND I JUST MIGHT DO A HAPPY DANCE. OH, HECK--THEY'RE FIXED, I'LL DO ONE ANYWAY!!!
