I'm sitting here at the computer after having debated the merits of older Green Day versus their new release with you, and I'm struck by the thought that I only have 4 years left with you. I mean, I know that you won't be gone forever when you leave for college, but things will have changed, shifted in a way that will draw you onward and outward and away from me. Four years. Dear Lord, that's a blink.
And so I want to make sure to squeeze it all in while I have you here. I don't want to take any part of you for granted. I want to enjoy it all.
|8 years old--First Communion. Showing us your James Bond.|
It seems a silly thing, but I want to remember to enjoy the way you eat. Because, oh! My son, you are a master in this area. You don't have three meals, you have 5 meals every day and you seem to make the most of each one. I know that if I'm cooking, for sure I'll have at least one taker for whatever hits the plate. When I asked you what you wanted for your birthday dinner, you took a couple of days and thought about it like a man who was ordering his last meal might--selecting and rejecting menu after menu until you had arrived at just what you wanted. But when at last you arrived at your decision, you made your request with the phrase "if it's not too much trouble" at the end.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to enjoy your mess. I want to revel in your dirty socks and heaps of blankets on your floor. HAHAHAHA!! Yeah, right. But I do want to remember that I only have you here for a few years more so that I shouldn't spend that time irritated because you have to turn your socks inside out to wear them because you haven't brought them down to the laundry room and you have no clean socks to wear. Not that this has ever happened, but I could see it as a real possibility. Heh.
|11th birthday. Growing out his "high and tight" buzz cut.|
I want to enjoy watching you with your siblings. I love that you have a distinct and special relationship with each one. I love to watch you talk school and social life with Maggie. I love to watch you wrestle and talk sports with Sean. I love to watch you give Mary hints and instruction on video games when she tries to "hang" with the dudes. For that matter, I love that you will let her "hang" with the dudes.
|12th birthday. From "high and tight" to "long and shaggy." Also, I promise we fed him, he just has a metabolism that I covet.|
I want to enjoy your enthusiasm--your dressing up for spirit days and vocabulary day at school, your fanaticism over the Steelers, your happiness when a new "Top Gear" is on, and just your general happiness at your place in the world. I need to learn more of this from you.
Because these last 14 years? They have flown by. And they've made me so very grateful for the blessing of being your mom.
Happy 14th birthday, son!
I love you,
P.S. You are my favorite James!