Tuesday, March 6, 2012


My high school English teacher would be appalled at that title. But if I remember correctly, titles are supposed to succinctly summarize the story and entice the reader. And while that title summarizes okay, I realize it is lacking in enticement. If I had entitled this post with a summary of what it's really all about, it would have read something like "Random Boring Crap That Has Been Going On Around Here, And Oh Yeah, The Funny Thing My Kid Said." Summarizing, yes. Succinctly? Not so much. Enticing? HAHAHAHA!!!


Remember how I got my Shevel Knievel snow gear for our ski trip? Remember how I was gonna be memorable on the slopes? Well, my friends, I am sorry to disappoint you, but there will be no blog about skiing mishaps, being mistaken for an Olympic athlete, or how I broke my everything trying to ski again. We made the decision a few weeks ago that since most places are having the kind of winter that we are having here--rather a lack of winter--that instead of skiing on conditions that in early April probably wouldn't be so great, given the monetary outlay, we would ski another time. Bummer. I am disappointed because I was looking forward to it. Maggie, on the other hand, is delighted. Skiing is a dumb way to spend Spring Break. Didn't you know that?

On the upside, we converted plane tickets and money otherwise spent on ski stuff into a vacation get away this summer. So instead of Shevel Knievel, you just may get "How I Got Stuck In My Swimsuit: The Sequel." Yay! Maggie is delighted. Because vacations should involve getting premature wrinkles and precancerous moles a tan. I am excited and I keep going back to the website when I need a boost in my day. Yesterday I believe I single-handedly rolled their site counter over to some new numbers.

James had a project due yesterday. It was a book report of sorts. He was required to find a pivotal moment in a book that he's reading and make a model of it. He also had to write a short paper about that moment and why it was important.

My preshus, showing initiative, decided that he wanted to get his model done in plenty of time so that he wouldn't have to worry over it later. He got it done a week ahead of the due date. Yay, James! Then he spent Sunday evening writing his paper. He printed it and left it sitting in the printer tray. I reminded him several times not to leave it there. After my 4th or 5th reminder, he came over, got the paper, and laid it on his model. Good to go.

The next morning, after he had left for school, I realized that he had taken his paper, but not the model sitting directly underneath it. I debated for a few minutes about whether or not I would "save" him before deciding that after trying so hard not to procrastinate that I would grant him mercy and drive the model over to the school for him.

When I got to the school office and explained what had happened, the office staff cracked up. Then I told them that it was kind of typical by relating to them the story of my Jamsieboy needing clothes and instead of loading the entire load of clean laundry from the washer to the dryer, he took out one pair of underwear and dried it, leaving all the rest of the clothes in the washer. Absent-minded professor or just typical junior high boy lack of attention to detail? I'm not sure. But I did make sure that before I left, the ladies new that it was okay to give him a hard time when he came down to the office to pick up his project. My mercy only extends so far.


At the dinner table the other night, we had both strawberries and grapes on the table. We were commenting on the deliciousness of the grapes. Then Sean said, "Mom, don't you think that grapes and strawberries and yogurt would be good together?'

"Yes," I replied.

"Dude, it's called a parfait," said James.

To which Mary, my picky eater responded, "More like barf-ait!"

And then I died. That kid.

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