Thursday, September 2, 2010

Oh CL, How Do I Love Thee?

Dear Craigslist,

I don't know what to say. You know that I call you "Crack's List" for a couple of reasons. First, I am certain that a good number of the people posting their 1970's fiberboard furniture and asking $700 for it are only doing it because they are either on crack at the moment of posting, or they have previously indulged in the substance and have crack-addled brains and are not aware that they are asking ridiculous prices for crappy furniture.

I also call you "Crack's List" because you are addicting. While I get wildly frustrated looking through your overpriced postings on furniture, I am also amused by the crack-addled brains and the listings they write. Do you understand the sheer entertainment value of reading about someone's "Chester Drawers: four draws. Reel wood. Vintage. Some minor damage from where my dog chewed on it $350 FIRM" or "ENTERTANEMENT ARMIOR: Bearly used. Heavy wood not that cheep stuff. You must haul and I cant help load it cuz i hav a bad back. $500 obo."? That alone would keep me coming back.

But the fact that every 25th posting has something that is priced well, written by someone who has passed 8th grade English, and has, oh, I don't know, something that I might actually consider buying and doesn't look like it was rescued from a curb on garbage day keeps me coming back.

Sometimes, though, Craigslist, I get frustrated with you and your overpriced, crappy furniture, bad grammar ways and then I stay away. I just simply refuse to look or be taken in.

But sometimes? Well, sometimes, dear, dear Craigslist, you come through with something like this:
and then, even though I drove through Egypt to get there and had to move 300 lbs. of heavy wood, I fall back in love with you all over again.

And so, Crack's List, you may call me yours forever.

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