Thursday, January 14, 2010


I really don't have much to say. I just thought you might like to know how very talented I am. Would you like to hear? You would? Awesome, because I just know you'll feel better about yourself after you read this.

My 13 year old was getting ready to go to volleyball practice and made a pit stop in the powder room. While standing outside the door waiting for her, I happened to glance up. And what I saw was appalling. There was dust on one of our vents, y'all. I know! How can that be? I just don't understand it because I am such a clean freak! (Shut up. You can stop laughing now.) Not being one to let moss grow under me, (I mean it! Shut. up.) I decided that rather than stand there and shift back and forth or grow impatient, I would dust the vent off. With my hand. Because I am, as I might have mentioned before, a sooper jeeneus. All was going well and loads and loads of stringy, nasty dust was falling to the floor and I was thinking to myself, "Self, you will need to vacuum that stuff up pronto, because that is some seriously nasty stuff," and then, BAM! Okay, not BAM exactly. More like SLICE! As I was swiping away the dust from the vent I managed to try and swipe the fingerprints off of the index, middle and ring fingers of my right hand. Jeeneus, I tell you! I cut myself but good!

Have I mentioned that I'm right handed? Yep. Life is going to be very interesting over the next few days as I try to do things with just my thumb and pinkie. Also, it is very hard to open band aids one handed, but I managed to. Know what else? It's pretty hard to type with bandaged fingers that are throbbing with each heartbeat. But I do it for you, people, because I am dedicated. (Seriously, stop laughing!) This post has taken way too long though because most of my sentences have typos from having great big bandages on my fingers. I keep having to go back and fix words.

You might want to check back and make sure I'm okay. I might end up with a gangrenous hand due to all that nasty dust. Oh, I washed my fingers and everything (and it stung like a b****!) so I got all of the dust off. I think. There's always the microscopic stuff you can't see...but you know, I tend to be a little melodramatic sometimes. And I'm also given to some exaggeration on occasion. (Shut it, already!) I suppose that it's possible that my immune system has built up an immunity to any dust borne pathogens however, given my less than stellar housekeeping. I'm pretty sure that my career as a concert pianist is over though. Ahem.

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