Thursday, October 29, 2009


Denial is a very powerful thing. In order to make myself feel better about some of the things that happened around Chez Sara this week, I am employing Denial's mystical properties. I am hoping that by denying all of the things I did or said, that it will have a "rewind" effect and be like undoing them. (What? It could happen. I said Denial had mystical properties and I speak Truth. Right? Shut up.) If not, then perhaps it will serve as a gentle reminder for better behavior from me in the future. And also, it will probably make all of you feel very good about yourselves. You're welcome. I am a giver and generous to the extreme.

Are you ready? Thus begins my experiment in Denial:

I did not spend more time carting children to various activities and meetings than I did tucking them into bed and reading to them. When it was time to read a story, I did not read too quickly so I could get finished and go relax.

I did not hide M&Ms from my family and then eat them after everyone went to bed.

I did not chastise my children for eye-rolling and then tell them that eye-rolling was the non-verbal equivalent of saying "shut up."

I did not roll my eyes at my husband.

I did not roll my eyes at my children and mutter to myself that I have too many children.

I did not grit my teeth and whisper "SHUT UP!" when my husband sang in the shower in the morning.

I did not step over the same socks on the floor at least 20 times hoping someone else would see them and pick them up. When nobody did, I did not say martyr-like things, and stomp off in a huff.

I did not yell at the driver in front of me for driving too slowly when I was late.

I did not feed my children fast food twice this week.

I did not refuse to participate in a portion of a church ceremony because it rankled me because it wasn't my belief.

I did not belittle my husband in my mind. I did not share those thoughts with someone else.

I did not wish to be alone somewhere nobody could find me.

I did not stay up too late watching garbage on television.

I did not avoid laundry.

I did not procrastinate finishing a job that I quit half-way through.

I did not wonder why we have a dog. I did not mutter bad things about her while cleaning up her dog hair and taking her out in the rain.

I did not drink more Diet Coke than I should.

I was not late picking up my son from an orthodontist appointment because I spent too much time in a craft store.

I did not spend too much time on the computer reading about other people's lives in order to avoid my own.

I did not tell my daughter that she had to try a bite of something or she wouldn't get dessert and then give her dessert anyway when she didn't try it because I was too tired to fight.

I did not eat only potato chips for lunch one day. I did not feel stress. I did not choose to eat them as a way to alleviate stress. Then I did not feel guilty afterwards.

I did not pretend I didn't see a neighbor who hasn't been nice to me so that I wouldn't have to wave.

I did not hit the snooze button too many times in the morning and then snap at my children for not moving quickly enough when I was running late.

I did not go to bed without washing my face one night.

I did not throw away something that belonged to one of my children and then claim that I didn't have any idea where it was.

I did not wish my son's football team would lose so that football season would be over.

I did not look at myself in the mirror and think bad thoughts about my appearance.

I did not yell "GO TO SLEEP" eleventy billion times from the couch when my children were having a rave upstairs. I was not too lazy to get up and take care of the monkey business.

I will not repeat these things in the future.***


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