Thursday, September 13, 2012

Still Here

I'm not dead. Although if you'd seen me yesterday, you might have wondered. I have been battling the Creeping Crud. It won't kill you, it'll just make you wish you were dead. Today, however, I seem to have rounded the corner. The fever is gone, I can stand up without my head threatening to explode, and now I'm just plain ol' congested instead of that lovely type of congestion wherein you cannot breathe at all through your nose, but somehow, trickles of snot still manage to escape your nostrils before you can grab a tissue. Lovely visual, eh? You're welcome!

In an unrelated (Ha! TOTALLY RELATED) note, my beloved has left town to go see customers. I don't blame him for deserting me in my hour of need  doing his job. I'm sure he misses me and all of my phlegm. (So. Sexy.) And somehow, a miracle has occurred! My children, whom have heretofore often behaved as feral goats, have stepped up to the plate in his absence and managed to empty and load the dishwasher, do some laundry, feed themselves, care for the dog, and offer to hug me even though I look like Death's older sister. (Which is more than my germaphobe beloved has done. He calls to me from across the room "Okay! I'm leaving! I'd come kiss you good bye but you have Ebola virus and I don't want to get contaminated with your filth! Love you!" Ah...twue wuv.) I must be doing something right.

So instead of writing a post about our vacation that happened two and a half months ago, I'm writing about mucus. Because I'm...a giver? Actually, it's just that that post will be picture heavy and the thought of sitting here at the computer for that long makes me tired. I'm dreaming of napping from writing three paragraphs. The vacation post would probably hospitalize me. Man, getting old bites.

Anyway! Next week, I promise to come back and write a non-phlegm related post.

That is if I survive writing the checks for my kids' book rental fees. I just totaled it up and I can feel a coronary coming on. $670.06, my friends! That's what I'm paying for book rentals. That doesn't include any other fees that I'll pay or have already paid. Right now I'm clutching my heart and shouting like Fred Sanford. I'm comin' Elizabeth!!


Not really. I'm still here. See you next week!

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